I’ve Got A Semi.


Another day, another art competition rejection, another photo of me crying in the shower.

I received confirmation today that my portrait of Dave Collins did not get to the finals in the Doug Moran Portrait Prize and as you can see I cried so much I drenched my shirt I took it well. I am very proud of myself, I was a semi-finalist in one of the biggest portrait prizes in the world and am very proud of the artwork I created. This year was the first step in creating an annual tradition for myself, I will enter the Archibald and Moran annually with the aim to have fewer photographs of myself in the shower… unless it’s a strange self portrait.

Dry July Has Me Makin’ Bacon.

Painting, This is Interesting


I’m doing Dry July. This means I don’t drink any booze for the month of July. It is all in support of adults living with cancer.

My spirit guide for Dry July is Kevin Bacon. Bacon is helping me get through this booze free month, looking at his chiseled chin and large luxurious forehead makes every day easier.

Every donation made will receive a personalised Kevin Bacon cartoon. Just make a donation, email me with your postage address and I will post you an original one of a kind hand drawn image of Kevin Bacon helping you out on a big night out. Kevin could be your designated driver, or holding your hair back while you puke, or just cooking you a nice ‘hang-over breakfast’ of scrambled eggs and Bacon. What ever you want!

Every donation counts and it all goes towards adults living with cancer. Please give generously.


Here is the link to my profile.

The Waiting Game: Still Not As Fun As Hungry Hungry Hippos.


Today I dropped off my Moran Prize portrait of Dave Collins for the final stage of judging. Tomorrow was the last day to deliver paintings for round two so naturally I left it ’til the second last day.

I find out on the 2nd of July if I am in the list of finalists. This means Dry July may be broken early because I drink Champagne or Dry July may be broken because I’ll be drenched crying in the shower again.

If you want to see the full list of semi-finalists click this link.

If you’d prefer to wait to see the show here is a link to a skater falling off his board and crunching his nuts on a pole.


And here is a photo of me delivering said portrait at 12:42pm for your enjoyment, also for an alibi… look how happy and murder-free I look here.

A big thanks to Jessica Bellamy for helping me deliver the painting.

This Is Why I’m A Tough Guy!

Painting, This is Interesting

I moved in to Sydney’s Inner West about a year and a half ago. Driving around the area I noticed the large amount of graffiti and local activism. I felt like I should be a part of the community and take part in both. My contribution ended up not quite being activism or graffiti and was hung on a local corner that seemed to be the main noticeboard in St Peters just down the hill from May Lane which is Sydney’s most notorious street art hotspot. My banner remained untouched for quite a while and my excessive use of cable-ties and weather proof materials like enamel on vinyl meant it was protected against the elephants.

As the NSW state election crept closer my banner, which was a great example of antidisestablishmentarianism, was converted into a political poster when someone grabbed a blue marker and crossed out “banners” and wrote “Labor”in it’s place. I discovered this at about 10pm so I soaked a rag in solvent to make a Molotov cocktail to throw at the blue marker factory to rub away the ink. But all this did was create a big blue cloud so I returned at midnight with a can of white spray paint to spray over the big blue mess I had made earlier. As I was halfway through spraying over the blemish on the banner a police car pulls up next to me and I act like I don’t see them so I can finish cleaning up the artwork.

ME: Oh, hello officer.

LOVELY POLICE MAN: What are you doing here mate.

ME: (Small poops filling my undies. Trying to stay cool) I put up this banner earlier and some one graffiti-ed it.

LOVELY POLICE MAN: Do you know it’s illegal to carry a spray can in NSW?

ME: No.

LOVELY POLICE MAN: Were you intending on graffitiing anything?

ME: No I just came down here to fix my banner. I thought it was okay to put a banner up here. I mean I saw these onesandthoughtitwasOK?

LOVELY POLICE MAN: What’s it about?

Meanwhile Lovely Policeman NO. 2 Is taking down my details after I gave him every piece of identification I own. He is constantly on his radio. I press my heel in to the ground to stop my knee shaking.

ME: I ah, saw a bunch of banners up in the area and thought they looked ugly so I guess mine is kind of a protest.

LOVELY POLICE MAN: Are you planning a march?

ME:(Oh gosh stop trying to justify it) It’s more of a joke really. But I though the banner was okay. I mean I see them everywhere and-

LOVELY POLICE MAN: The banner is fine. We are just trying to crack down on graffiti in the area. So we saw you with the can and pulled over.

ME: Yeah I’ve noticed. Some one defaced my protest-banner earlier. I tried to rub it away with solvent but but I just created this big blue cloud I think that spray paint would have been the easiest way to cover it up I would have taken it home butIusedtoomanycable-tiesandit’sreallyhardtotakeoff.

LOVELY POLICE MAN: Alright. Look don’t carry that spray can with you.

Lovely Police Man No. 2 hands back my wad of identification.

ME: Am I in trouble?

LOVELY POLICE MAN: No, you just can’t carry that spray can around as it’s an offence. Now ride home and be safe.

ME: Thanks guys. Sorry about that. ‘Night.

I then ride home on my push-bike with my flashing lights on and day-glow vest sipped up. It probably didn’t help that I was wearing black pants and a black hoodie that night in order to feel more bad-ass. I then went home, threw away my undies and curled up in a ball because I was caught doing something not quite illegal and received no penalty. WHAT A RUSH!

BUT NOW! Now I’m a regular street-art fiend. I went out last night for three hours with a couple of real bad dudes and we coated some walls man. We sprayed up some serious deviant art all over the completely legal designated graffiti art tunnel at Sydney University which we did after hours as so we didn’t disturb the students. I may have also had a friend carry the cans there because I DON’T WANT TO BE A FELON. I WOULDN’T DO WELL IN PRISON – I GET NERVOUS PEEING IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

Here are just some of the artworks I made that night.

Take that copperrrrrrs!

More More Moran!

Painting, This is Interesting

I was informed that my Doug Moran Portraiture Prize entry has been selected for the 2nd stage of judging. The judges were Christopher Menz and Vincent Fantauzzo which is very exiting as Fantauzzo’s work has dominated the portraiture scene in Australia in the last few years and it’s so cool to have him select my work for further viewing. The next step is having Gandalf select me in a beard competition.

The finalists will be announced on the 2nd of July.

David Collins and Daffy Duck have more in common than may first meet the eye. Artist Edmund Iffland has captured Collins’ unique mode of physical performance in the style of Chuck Jones’ 1953 classic Duck Auck – an homage in colour and style to a cartoon that both the artist and performer hold dear. Painted in Acrylic and ink on canvas this work resembles a massive animation cel.

I have entered the Moran Prize for portraiture (not to be confused with the Moron Prize for thinking penguins are fish). The Doug Moran National Prize for Portraiture is an annual competition for portraits of Australians by Australian Artists. Last years winner was a portrait by Vincent Fantauzzo of Baz Luhrmann trying to pull his eyeballs out.

I entered the two final portraits of Dave Collins with a few alterations. With the two works next to each other, both with vast white backgrounds, I decided that it may appear to be two versions of the same work so I went full-coldplay on one artwork and repainted the background yellow. I like how the image still retains a dark mood with such a vibrant colour dominating the work.

Entries close on the 21st of May and the winners are announced on the 17th of July. Also the Prize money is $150,000. That’s more than gameshow money! I could renovate a house and lose 70kgs after making a flan so good Delta Goodrem will tell me I’m “what this competition is all about” AND STILL…STILL I would win more money than gameshow money.

So once again I am very proud of my portraits of Dave and it’s a real luxury to be able to submit both works in to the competition. Stay tuned. Hopefully I wont have to photograph myself crying in the shower again.




Get ready. Get set.

Painting, This is Interesting

I hope you all are ready for the artwork I’m creating for a theatre SET! See what I did there? GO ahead and kill me that was the weakest pun in internet history.

Dave Collins (that dude I painted for that portraiture prize that time) is showing off his skills in comedy for the Sydney Comedy Festival!

The play is called In The Air Tonight and is showing at Sidetrack Theatre in Sydney’s Inner West From May 1st. I am lending my artistic skills to help fill the set by creating the scrawlings of two astronauts bored out of their brains on a space ship for 20 years. The set may even feature a few of the studies from my Archibald portraits.


comMISSION IMPOSSIBLE! (turns out it’s quite possible)


My aim today was to finish my commissioned painting and like cheezles on a nerd – I was all over it. This is the second commissioned painting I’ve done this year. Using ink over acrylic is becoming a habit of mine and is yielding good results. This method was used in my Archibald entry where I also had to think about drapery in a very minimal sense, only using two tones whilst emphasising movement of the body and tension of the clothing. It was great to revisit this image and create a painting 3x bigger than it’s older brother.

Work in progress.


  The studio has had a very thorough tidy after the whirlwind that was the Archibald. I found that Subway cookie that almost drove me mad trying to find last November. It wasn’t the reunion I imagined.

So since the studio is in full swing I am working on a commission of Bruce Lee legs, I’ll be using a very 1970’s palette and incorporating the style of ink-work used on my portraits of Dave Collins.

The sideways portrait of Dave seen in the background will be soon making its way to the Moran Prize. I’ll keep you updated on that one as well.

Sooooo They Released the List of Finalists aaaaaaand…


So Thursday came and the Archibald Prize list of finalists was released. I didn’t get selected this year and as you can see I didn’t take it too bad.

My aim was to enter this year and I was very pleased with my entry. I’ve never spent so long trying to develop one image and it should put me in good stead for entering next year when I paint Shane from the Umbilical Brothers (a bald head is easier to paint)… Just kidding! I’m going to dig up the bones of J.F. Archibald and paint him as a king!

The Archibald opens at the end of the month and will be touring afterwards. Click here for touring dates.