Month: August 2012

Art theft: Just like Oceans 12 (But nothing like Oceans 12)

Painting

This morning I was working in my studio and noticed I was a victim of a devious art heist. The artwork in question was a sculptural work I exhibited at the Shelf Life group show in the Delmar Gallery at the end of 2011. The work did not sell so I have kept it in my studio. Here is a picture of the work on exhibition in December last year.

The work is called “San Remo (after Salvator Rosa)” and is a frame made out of San Remo pasta which is then painted with acrylic and gold leafing. Now I know that this particular artwork is not as coveted as Edward Munch’s “Scream” or Da Vinci’s infamous “Mona Lisa” but the master thief has been stealing my artwork in small increments so as I would not notice perhaps? Or perhaps because they can only transport a small amount at a time in some sort of a Shawshank Redemption sting. Here is a photograph of the partially stolen artwork today.

I’m unsure as to when the robbery took place or the whereabouts of the remainder of the artwork.

A wheel of cheese and half of my housemate Jess’ tomato have also gone missing recently.

The culprit has been narrowed down to two possible options.

These WW2 soldiers:

Or

Arthur “Ima steal ya pasta art”  Rat:

I’ve spoken to the police and they are pretty sure it’s those American-looking soldiers.
Also, how gross are rats? I’m sooooo glad it’s not the rat because I would hate to have one of those things in my house. THEY ARE MY SECOND WORST FEAR – RIGHT AFTER BIRDS WHICH MAKES THIS GIF THE MOST TERRIFYING THING IN THE WORLD.

funny gifs

 

Merch Appreciated

Design, This is Interesting
 I have been trying to get my designs out in to the real world. For a while I was tatooing my artworks on the butt-cheeks of shut-ins. I erected a billboard in the heart of New Zealand’s CBD. I even printed my works on A5 paper and inserted them in to the front of every copy of Rhonda Byrne’S “The Secret” at my local library.
Discus Inferno by Edmund Iffland Kubrick's Killers by Edmund IfflandThor and Order by Edmund Iffland Pop and Lock by Edmund Iffland
After all this hard work no one saw my artwork but recently I’ve noticed a lot of people like to wear T-Shirts. I did some resarch and found that often people print artworks on their T-shirts. Redbubble.com have cottoned on to this fad and I have asked them nicely to use a few of my designs. I think I’m on to a good thing. So if you would like to wear one of my designs go to www.redbubble.com/people/edmundiffland and buy one from the internet. Or if you are a shut-in with a naked arse that’s hungry for some ink lemme know.

Playing Just For the Waitresses

Design

Sometimes I create artworks for commissions and sometimes I will design a poster for a fee and sometimes I just want to see something exist because it doesn’t already and I think it would be cool if it did. This poster design is an example of the latter. I like Steve Buscemi, I like Reservoir Dogs and I like to design posters.

For those of you who are not familiar with this reference please refresh your memory with this video (below). SPOILER ALERT. If you haven’t seen Reservoir Dogs yet you really should. I’m not suggesting that you should because it’s in my top ten and I want you to like what I like. I don’t care what you like. I’m just letting you know that if you are intending on putting together a crew to plan a jewel heist this film can be used as an instructional video of what not to do. So if you are going to steal those diamonds DON’T ASK TIM ROTH TO HELP!