The Beautiful Spoils of War

Painting, This is Interesting

This is Nick Capper:

This is me (Edmund Iffland):

Nick is an accomplished stand up comedian. Nick has the exterior of a country-boy and the mind of an 18th century art student who was only allowed to sketch what he saw at home and after spending his entire life in a glove factory chose only to paint portraits of his dog Nathan who never existed… In short, no one knows what goes on inside Nicks head but when he  draws cartoons it helps us understand the “kind” of  madness Nick possesses.

I have spent six years at uni working on my fine art/arts degree. Sure, most of this time was spent doodling in exercise books and goofing off in the university comedy society. And sure, my most acclaimed work should be my semi finalst portrait for the prestigious Moran Prize, but had I added a cat video to my childish signed triptych of Michael Fassbender, this would have been my most notable work.

It had become apparent that both comedy and art were my true callings. I have decided to combine my strengths and join forces with the formidibaly strange Nick Capper to write a one hour show on the history of stolen artworks. This originally began with a plan to steal a number of Ken Done paintings from he Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney. When Nick and I found a few of these in the gallery dumpster we decided we could earn more money just talking about them at the Sydney Fringe Festval than we could selling Dones on the black market.

It is a one night only show and if you want to catch two Ren and Stimpy enthusiasts talking about Art Theft this is the show for you.


Art theft: Just like Oceans 12 (But nothing like Oceans 12)


This morning I was working in my studio and noticed I was a victim of a devious art heist. The artwork in question was a sculptural work I exhibited at the Shelf Life group show in the Delmar Gallery at the end of 2011. The work did not sell so I have kept it in my studio. Here is a picture of the work on exhibition in December last year.

The work is called “San Remo (after Salvator Rosa)” and is a frame made out of San Remo pasta which is then painted with acrylic and gold leafing. Now I know that this particular artwork is not as coveted as Edward Munch’s “Scream” or Da Vinci’s infamous “Mona Lisa” but the master thief has been stealing my artwork in small increments so as I would not notice perhaps? Or perhaps because they can only transport a small amount at a time in some sort of a Shawshank Redemption sting. Here is a photograph of the partially stolen artwork today.

I’m unsure as to when the robbery took place or the whereabouts of the remainder of the artwork.

A wheel of cheese and half of my housemate Jess’ tomato have also gone missing recently.

The culprit has been narrowed down to two possible options.

These WW2 soldiers:


Arthur “Ima steal ya pasta art”  Rat:

I’ve spoken to the police and they are pretty sure it’s those American-looking soldiers.
Also, how gross are rats? I’m sooooo glad it’s not the rat because I would hate to have one of those things in my house. THEY ARE MY SECOND WORST FEAR – RIGHT AFTER BIRDS WHICH MAKES THIS GIF THE MOST TERRIFYING THING IN THE WORLD.

funny gifs